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Can I Hide from a Lie?

I am inspired by the song “The Truth” by Handsome Boy Modeling School (YouTube link to the song) and its intimate lines of “You can’t hide from the Truth/Because the Truth is All that is”. The pretenses of my life (enshrined in my habitual behavior) hide the fact of the Truth – the great reality, the eternal now. The Truth occurs as boring to me against the context of the external stimuli – people, places, things, situations. My control of the external powers and energy is my daily lie. I believe that I can predict and guide an outcome of the events that I observe. My powerless is seen not as a fact/truth, but as a thought-experiment to satisfy some internal audience/audit committee in my head that call BS on my actions.

As a human, I am imbued with powers to judge. The effectiveness of that power, unfortunately, ends at the end of my skin. The external is governed by forces that I have, at best, some vague understanding. I can’t judge the external – I think I can only guess and speak in non-Source-connected generalities that make me sound like a parrot than an enlightened being. A zen master said that there is little to choose between a man in the gutter drunk with rice wine and a man drunk on his own “enlightenment”.

Hence, I am perplex – can I hide from a Lie? The Truth is as certain as the number that comes chronologically after numbers 1 and 2. Above, I described lie as technique of surviving moment from moment – reducing my dependency on the reality and my responsibility. Thus, for me, a lie is when I do not source the Truth in order for me to be responsible for my next action. I am trying to control the external; in other words, I am being in some kind of denial (there are at least seven forms of denial). I am being because I am not at the point of my development where I can separate my being from my doing. Unfortunately, this description still does not offer insights into whether I can hide from a lie. Note: there is the Truth (singularity) but there are many lies.

Do lies exist for me to be awaken to the fact that they are lies? The path to peace is through hell. If I entertain this notion for a bit, lies are not opposite of The Truth. They are indication to the existence of The Truth. My experience is stuck between the poles of my memories and the eternal now. I can’t exist in my current state outside of the magnetic energies of those poles. Still, this insights does not lend naturally to an answer to my inquiry.

As a kid, I lied to my parent about spending money on a school lunch. In fact, I spent the money on chewing gum and other American and Japanese candy. I created the lie in language. The facts of my actions and inactions did not change. Yet, a lie was born from me and then the action/inaction was taken. I do not have the external ‘thing’ of a lie – it just a thought or better yet a thought+[a sensation, a feeling]. Can my parent hide from my lie that I didn’t buy school lunch? They are implicated to sustaining the lie – whether they agreed or not (irregardless if they knew the fact or not). It cost them and me nothing to create a lie, at first. I left a bit of me on the slopes of the snow covered Siberia when I created that lie. I know I left a piece of me there because I give it power by thinking and feeling those words. No, I do not believe a piece of me is left at the interaction between my parent and I. Instead, it is left somewhere between my parent giving me money, being at my school’s cafeteria lunchless, and the shop register where I bought that candy. The lie was born somewhere in those places but it was conceived at the early moment. When I decided that the discomfort of hunger was less than the excitement of that candy. Actually, I didn’t have the candy itself when I decided to spend my money. It was just an idea – again conceived in language (this time in images and mouth watering reaction). Hence, the lie seems to be created in the words I used to decide between forgoing lunch and buying candy.

Can I hide from the lie of my purchase candy instead of lunch? Lie exist only in language and only in the words I create, either directly or indirectly. Can I hide from my lies to myself – can I hide from the words I used? I do need a complex superstructure of mind’s creation to creates that veil of control/denial.

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